


Assuming Makes an Ass of U and Me

by julliel



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Misunderstandings, One Night Stands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-15 04:26:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2215767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julliel/pseuds/julliel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story in which there has been a gross misunderstanding. </p><p>Steve and Darcy have a one night stand. Or at least Darcy thinks it was a one night stand, and Steve thinks he's so terrible in bed that Darcy can't stand the thought of dating him afterwards.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Assuming Makes an Ass of U and Me

**Author's Note:**

> I need a break from all the gut-wrenching angst I've been writing lately. So here's a light, sugary piece for you all!

They fall back on the bed, chests heaving. A look of exhausted satisfaction on both their faces.

 

Darcy lies back with her arms up and her eyes closed, shielding them from the rays of morning light peeping through his blinds. Steve turns to look at her, taking in the golden sheen of her after-glow.

 

“You all right?”

 

“That was...” She tries to think of a word that properly expresses how fucking _rocked_ her world had been without sounding like some gushing, simpering fangirl. “Swell.” Swell? What the fuck. Could she sound anymore stupid?

 

She jolts up. Tender moment over and done with. The mood has changed.

 

“Yeah.” He rubs at the back of his neck awkwardly. The blanket falls and reveals his perfect chest. In any other situation Darcy would relish the glorious sight of his exposed pectorals but right now she's busy mentally braining herself with a brick. “I enjoyed myself too.”

 

The words come out jumbled and awkward. He avoids looking her in the eyes now, and that's when it hits her. There's no way he could have meant it.

 

But he smiles at her so honest and sweet she almost believes him. Almost. But apparently her mouth's not quite done making her look like a total idiot because the next thing that comes out of her mouth is, “Wanna have breakfast with me?”

 

This time, Steve freezes completely. “I don't think... I have anything in the fridge.” He manages to choke out. His mouth twitches in that half-smile of his, and oh Darcy feels awful. What happened to the apathy and indifference she gathered in college? “Maybe next time.”

 

Now that's a lie if she's ever heard one. It sounds deceptively honest, especially coming from someone like Steve, but Darcy knows how to pick her battles. This is not one she would continue further. And because he made the effort to not make her feel like a total loser, she decides to give him an easy out. She's cool like that. Casual Darcy is back, ladies and gentlemen.

 

“Don't sweat it.” She vaults off the bed in record time. “I know you're a very busy guy, Cap.” She rushes out, poking her head through her inside out sweater. Bra in hand; she doesn't even bother to put it on. With the sweat on her skin cooling, her initial confidence flees from her and she's left with nothing but her insecurity again.

 

“Hey, wait-”

 

“So I'll let you get on with your day. I got work in uh-” She looks at her invisible watch that's not there. “-something hours so I gotta rush.” Her pants are on, and she's out the door.

 

Steve's hand stays up, reaching out. She whirlwinds out of his apartment so quickly he doesn't register her exit until the echoing slam of his front door snaps him out of it.

 

His hand lowers. He flops onto the bed. He sighs.

–

She gets home and does her best to verbally self-flagellate herself for being a total spaz and why can't she be happy with simply banging a hot guy and not dating him?

 

“Stupid. Stupid. So fucking stupid.” She hits herself for real this time. “Swell? Who uses that word and was born in this era? Probably thinks you're trying to suck up to him...”

 

She looks at herself in the mirror. Crow's nest hair. Bags under her eyes. Clothes disheveled, not in the sexily pawed at way, but in the my life is a mess sort of way.

 

Darcy snorts. Yeah, good call getting the hell out of there. As if Captain America would ever have breakfast or ever want a piece of this again.

–

Darcy does her best to avoid him afterwards. Out of sight, out of mind, right? And she definitely won't think back on how wonderful he was and how mind-blowing their night had been and how he had probably ruined her for other men forever. It doesn't work obviously, especially when Steve goes out of his way to see her again.

 

She doesn't want to flatter herself into thinking that he might want a repeat of the other night. In fact, the more likely reason is that she probably forgot something and he, the superhero of all things patriotic and good. Whatever it is, it's a worthy sacrifice to avoid the humiliation of facing him and his beautiful face ever again.

 

Darcy's a pro at avoiding things. Parental interrogation. Crazy ex-boyfriends. General life responsibilities. Captain America is no exception. For try as the good captain might, Darcy is always one step ahead of him and two steps out the door each time he enters a room.

 

The real super power is how no one seems to notice or mind it. They just assume ADD has come to take her attention elsewhere or her 'Tony's about to do something stupid and dangerous' senses are tingling.

 

Steve wants to bring it up, maybe get someone to tell him why Darcy's avoiding him and should he leave her alone? Because he's a gentleman, and he's not about to force his intentions on someone unwilling. Then again, he's unsure whether or not Darcy would want anyone knowing about their, um, _liaison_.

 

So Steve stops his pursuits and even goes out of his way to avoid _her_ , in turn. If he's going to catch her once and for all, then she'll have to be caught off guard.

 

In the meantime, Darcy definitely notices the lack of Cap sightings and assumes that he's finally seen the light and realized that she's not worth finding after all. Even though this was her end goal, Darcy can't help the slight twinge of hurt that Steve could cast her aside so quickly.

 

But the world doesn't stop turning just because a little one night stand didn't stand the test of time. She tries her best to forget him. She really does.

 

First there was Timothy from the Outreach department. Then Jeremy from Public Relations. She even went for ice cream with Stan the barista from the Starbucks down the street.

 

Every time she goes out she could feel the pin prick of eyes at the back of her neck. She thinks vaguely that someone's watching her, but she brushes the thought away quickly. Who would even bother looking for her?

-

One day, he finally catches her off guard (in an elevator of all places).

 

She's going home. Tired from running around, trying to please all of her scientists. Her bags are in her arms, and she'd like nothing more than to just lie on the couch watching something mindless and eating something that could only be found at the corner store of her 3rd floor walk-up.

 

“Hold the door, please!” A voice shouts from down the hall.

 

Darcy instinctively keeps it from closing. Doesn't bother to register the familiar voice until the Star-Spangled Man with a Plan himself saunters in and out of breath. How he could possibly be out of breath when the man can run 17 miles in 10 minutes is beyond her, but what does she know about his physiology?

 

She faces him, her eyes wide like a deer in headlights.

 

“Got you.” His words punctuate with the soft ding of closing elevator doors. SLAM! He pushes the emergency button with his palm. The elevator car jolts. Darcy stumbles, both from the shake and the weight of his stare.

 

They look at each other for a moment, unmoving and silent. Steve, because he's rehearsed what he's going to say but now that he's here he can't remember his lines and this is why he had to tape his lines behind his shield for all those wartime bond shows. Darcy, because she's mentally willing the world to swallow her up so she doesn't have to face this man and again be reminded that she had a taste of him once before and never will again because who is she but some intern?

 

“Why are you avoiding me?”

 

She squawks out her answer. This is not what she was expecting.  


“What? I'm not avoiding you.” It's a complete, bald-faced lie and they both know it.

 

She backtracks. “I just...” Her fight or flight instinct is kicking in, and she wants nothing more than to tear the metal walls of this elevator prison and escape from the weight of Steve's earnest stare.

 

He notices the slight tremble of her body and the bead of sweating gliding down the side of her face. He steps back, knowing someone in the midst of panic when he sees them.

 

“Was it something I did?”

 

“What?” Very intelligent, Darcy. Points to you.

 

“I don't-. I'm not an experienced lover. I know that. And I've heard that women of this time are a lot more independent and carefree than before, but I should have known that's not always the case.” At her silence, Steve continues. “If you're willing, I'd like for us to start over and I can do it properly.”

 

Darcy prepared for a completely different conversation in her head. It takes her a moment to gather the broken pieces of her expectations. “I think I'm lost here.” The anticipatory hunch of her shoulders droop with a confused relief. “What are you talking about?”

 

Steve flushes.

 

“I'd like to take you dancing. Or dinner or both?”

 

She stands, gaping at him like a fish.

 

“Unless you feel it's too much for you! We could, uh, go get a milkshake...” His voice trails off and the blush adorning his cheeks spread downwards into his collar. Darcy wonders distantly how far that particular blush goes.

 

“You... You're asking me out on a date?”

 

“Yes. That's, uh, the gist of it.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

They stand awkwardly some more until Steve scratches self-consciously at his arm, nervous and not knowing what to do. “Is that a no? Because that's okay, no worries-”

 

“Hold up. I'm still reeling from the fact that you just asked me out.”

 

He sees her blooming smile, and hope springs inside of him at her unspoken answer. “And why is that?”

 

“Because I was avoiding you this whole time thinking you were gonna give me the nice let-down, but it was pretty much the opposite.”

 

At this, Steve barks out a laugh. “Yup, that's pretty ironic.”

 

Darcy joins him in laughter, and the both of them are overcome with giggles in this cramped metal box. They catch their breaths like they were running a triathlon, little, bubbling laughs erupting here and there.

 

Steve bends over her to hold her hand in his. He looks into her eyes and the giddy, light mood from just a second ago settles into something a little more smoldering.

 

“Is that a yes?”

 

Darcy leans into him until their foreheads touch. “Absolutely.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I love these idiots.


End file.
